I don’t remember when I first encountered the internet.
Perhaps it was when I had just learned to read, sitting at the head of my parents’ bed, trying to use a sliding phone to edit all kinds of MMS messages and ringtones, then send them to relatives and friends far away. I didn’t understand what the internet was. I only felt that, through a screen, a person could send something to a distant place.
In middle school, I began to want to create something of my own: a website, an app, or anything small that others could open, see, and use. Back then, I actually understood almost nothing. I was just experimenting out of curiosity. Technically, I did not learn much, but the feeling of “making something” has stayed with me to this day.
Later, this desire to “make something” slowly turned into the idea of building a personal blog.
I can no longer remember when it began. Perhaps it was because I wanted to record something, to sketch out the world inside my heart. Or perhaps I simply thought it was cool to have a website of my own. In any case, I made my first serious attempt to build a blog.
That time, it did not take much effort. The entire website relied almost completely on WordPress, and I only made a few simple personal modifications. But to me at the time, that was already novel enough: it turned out that I, too, could have a page of my own, where I could write my words and place the things I liked.
But that freshness and enthusiasm did not last long. After a few days, I left it all behind. Looking back now, it seems I was building a website for the sake of building a website. The act of building itself gave me a feeling that “I am creating something,” and also offered me a safe form of escape. The content that truly needed to be created had never really begun.
Later, in 2022, OpenAI released ChatGPT. When I heard the news, I was very excited. Those fantasies and stories about AI that had existed in my mind suddenly felt so close. Of course, it did not immediately become what I had imagined, but it quietly changed my relationship with technology. Many things that I could only dream about in the past suddenly became things I could try.
And so, I began building a blog once again.
This time, I bought my own server and domain name, and seriously compared several blogging frameworks. In the end, I still chose WordPress, and with the help of Gemini and Cursor, modified a theme that I liked. That blog was called Maywe, meaning “may we.” What I wanted to talk about was love, us, and life.
That website looked more complete than before, but the result was not very different. It was more polished than my first blog, and closer to what I had imagined. But after the novelty faded, I stopped again. I realized that tinkering with technology itself had become a form of entertainment, while the things I truly wanted to write were once again left behind.
AI kept moving forward, and I did not want to forget my original intention yet again. So I started building a new blog.
This time, more of the concrete work was handed over to an AI Agent on my server. I no longer spent all my energy on themes, configuration, and details as I had before. Its overall layout is based on AstroPaper. I like this simple and pure design, and I feel that it is closer to the blog I first imagined. I am grateful for the generosity of its author, and I also want to express the same gratitude to the author of the theme mentioned earlier.
I have built blogs too many times. Every time, I began with excitement, and every time, I was soon carried away by new tools, new ideas, and new hesitations. For me, the hardest part has never been putting a website together. It has been sitting down and continuing to write honestly.
This time, whether the writing is good or not, I want to first write what I truly want to say.
Let me return to the original intention behind building a website: to return to myself, and to return to this little Red Book of mine.
In a place where I can be seen, I want to sincerely record what I see, what I think, what I dream of, and those things that still cannot yet be clearly spoken.
我不记得第一次接触网络是什么时候。
或许那时我刚识字，坐在父母的床头，尝试使用滑盖手机编辑各式各样的彩信和彩铃，发送给远方的亲人和朋友。我不懂网络是什么，只觉得原来一个人可以通过屏幕，把什么东西送到远方。
初中时，我开始想创造一些属于自己的东西：一个网站，一个应用，或者任何能被别人打开、看见、使用的小东西。那时我其实什么都不懂，只是凭着好奇心乱试。技术上没学到多少，但那种“做出点什么东西”的感觉，至今还留着。
后来，这种“做点什么”的念头，慢慢变成了搭建个人博客的想法。 我记不清那是从什么时候开始的。或许是因为我想记录些什么，把心中的世界勾勒出来，或许只是觉得拥有一个自己的网站很酷。总之，我第一次认真试着搭建了一个博客。
那次并没有费太大劲。整个网站几乎完全依托于WordPress，我只是做了一些简单的个性化修改。但对当时的我来说，这已经足够新奇：原来我也可以拥有一个属于自己的页面，写下自己的文字，放上自己喜欢的东西。
只是这份新鲜感和热情没有持续太久，过了几天，我就把它们抛在一边了。现在想来，我像是为了搭建网站而搭建网站。搭建本身给了我一种“我正在创造”的感觉，也给了我一种安全的逃避。真正需要被创造出来的内容，一直没有开始。
再后来，2022 年 OpenAI 发布了 ChatGPT。得知这个消息后，我很兴奋。那些存在于脑中的、关于 AI 的幻想和故事，此刻离我那么近。它当然没有立刻变成我想象中的模样，但它却悄悄改变了我和技术的关系。过去很多我只能想想的东西，忽然变得可以试一试。
于是，我又一次开始搭建博客。
这一次，我买了自己的服务器和域名，也认真比较了几个博客框架。最后，我还是选择了 WordPress，并在 Gemini 和 Cursor 的帮助下，修改了一个自己喜欢的主题。那个博客叫 Maywe，意为“愿我们”，我想谈的是关于爱、我们与生活。
这个网站比以前更像样，可结果并没有太大不同。它比第一次博客更完整，也更接近我想象中的样子，但新鲜劲过去之后，我还是停了下来。我发现折腾技术本身成了娱乐的目的，而我真正想写的东西，又一次被我留在了后面。
AI 还在不断向前，而我也不想再一次忘记自己最初的想法。于是，我又开始搭建一个新的博客。
这一次的构建，更多的具体的工作交给了服务器里的 AI Agent。我不再像过去那样，把全部精力花在主题、配置和细节上。它的整体布局来源于 AstroPaper。我喜欢这种简约、纯粹的设计，也觉得它更接近我最初想象中的博客。感谢这位作者的馈赠，同时也对前文中提到的主题的作者，表达同样的谢意。
我已经搭过太多次博客了，每一次开始时都很兴奋，每一次也都很快被新的工具、新的想法、新的犹豫带走。对我来说，最难的从来不是把一个网站搭起来，而是坐下来，持续地、诚实地写下去。
这一次，不管写好写坏，我都想先写出真正想说的话。
就让我回到建立网站的初心，回到我自己，也回到这一本我的小小《红书》。
在一个可以被看见的地方，真诚地记录我看见的、想到的、梦见的，以及那些还无法被清楚说出的东西。